A True Passion

There was a time when I owned 38 Tarot decks.  For reasons that I do not wish to dwell on or get into here, I gave them all away.  Every last one of them.  Even my favourite one:  The Witches Tarot by Ellen Cannon Reed.  (Which is now out of print!)

Today I own 12 decks - 5 Tarot decks and 7 Oracle decks.  I have a new Witches Tarot by Ellen Dugan that I love.  The Ellen Cannon Reed deck, while not impossible to find, is outrageously priced.  One day, though, I will stumble upon one and add it to my collection.

I try not to regret what happened to all my beautiful decks.  What's done, is done.  They are gone, and like old friends, are fondly remembered.  The bright spot here is that there is more room now for new decks to find me.  My wish list is long and growing!

I love the Tarot.  I love shuffling the cards and laying them out.  It's like Christmas morning every time with all the new gifts of insight they reveal.  I look forward to recording my daily Tarot Journal.  Every chance I get to play with the cards is a blessing.

It's become a bit of an addiction.  And this concerns me.  The notion that I am addicted to my Tarot cards popped into my head a few days ago when I felt myself growing a little impatient for a friend to leave so I could record my daily reading in my journal.  I was ashamed of myself for my impatience.  How could I put the cards before my beautiful friend?  

Needless to say, my reading that night was filled with messages of Temperance and Balance.  No kidding!  

I used the Temperance card to meditate with that night as well.  As I lay there contemplating my behavior and feelings, the word passion came up.  

I am passionate about the Tarot!  It calls to me.  For forty years I have been fascinated with and by Tarot cards.  Not once in all that time has my interest in them waned.  I missed them terribly when they were gone.  It was like a huge hole had opened in my heart.

I think that there is a fine line between addiction and passion.  I've been giving this a lot of thought.  Do I use my cards as a crutch?  Or do I use them with wisdom?  So I decided to try a little experiment.  I put the cards away for a few days and paid close attention to my thoughts and feelings about not using them.  Sure they were close to hand and I could have taken them out any time, but I didn't.  I left them alone and just stayed mindful.

II High Priestess
from the Witches Tarot
by Ellen Dugan

Some interesting thoughts and feelings emerged.  The constant yearning for my cards made me worry a little that I was addicted.  I meditated on this for quite some time and the image of the High Priestess came to me.  Here is a lady I admire; powerful, serious, compassionate, wise and compelling.  A role model for all women (and men!), the High Priestess embodies a neutral position, leaning neither to the light, nor the dark.  She is accepting of the balance and interdependence of the two.  She encourages learning, curiosity and creative expression.  She knows the difference between knowledge and wisdom.

I am not perfect.  Yet I do strive for these qualities within myself.  Not having my cards was like a teacher not being allowed to teach.  A healer not being allowed to heal.  I have found and shared both teaching and healing with the Tarot cards.  They are a gift the Universe has bestowed upon me and one I have no desire to deny.

I'm still not entirely sure that I'm not addicted to my cards.  I do know that I am passionate about them.  The beautiful images and the deep spiritual connection to the Universe that they inspire is something I hold dear.

What inspires you?  What are you passionate about?

Brightest blessings!

What Does the Future Hold For Me?

Can the Tarot predict the future?

The short answer is no!

I like the way The Tarot Fairy (https://www.facebook.com/tarotfaerie/?fref=ts) puts it:  "The reader may be an expert at interpreting the cards, but the client is the only expert at their life. Getting the most out of a Tarot reading requires a collaborative effort."

In a reading, the Reader provides information from an intuitive perspective.  The client then has the power to use that information to determine the best course of action for him/herself.  And this is a key factor in successful Tarot readings.  The client uses the results of the reading to make choices.  That is what effects the future.  

A good Tarot Reader encourages clients to look at situations that are brewing in their lives with more clarity.  It isn't about telling anyone that "this" or "that" will happen; it's about seeing the situation from a different angle - sometimes from a few different angles.  

We cannot control what others think, say or do.  We can control how we respond to what others think, say or do.  When we have set an expectation and it is not being met, how do we proceed?  

I am often presented with situations by clients who are stuck in a single-minded position and cannot see an alternative.  They want a specific outcome and are baffled that others are not simply hopping to and delivering it to them.  Sometimes, it's because they are unaware of what is going on with the "others" and need to adjust their own way of thinking to accommodate.   Sometimes, it's because they don't really want what they think they want.  Sometimes they are asking for the impossible.  And they want me to tell them what is going to happen.  

Things can get tricky at this point.  It is not my job to tell anyone what to do.  My job is simply to help people see things clearly in the present so that they may choose how to act for themselves.  Outcomes are not guaranteed!  And once a person is aware of something that they did not know or understand previously, the entire situation is automatically changed by that awareness - in the present.  What follows is going to be affected and a large portion of how it is affected lies with how the client - with all this new awareness - decides to proceed. 

Science has proven that just by observing something it is changed.  Okay, this totally baffles me and I take it on faith that it is so.  But in a sense - an intuitive sense! - I see this in readings.  Showing a client an alternative way of seeing or thinking about something brings about an "Aha!" moment.  Suddenly everything is different.  This is my favourite moment in a reading.  I have witnessed amazing epiphanies; profound transformations.  

I have also seen people cling to denial and refuse to open up to the possibilities.  Some people simply do not wish to be accountable and responsible for what happens in their lives.  I can only do my best. 

If people want to know what the future holds, a Tarot reading can help them find ways to shape it.  Ultimately, though, it is up to the client to choose for themselves.  

What is the point in having a reading at all then?  Well, Tarot Readers offer objective, intuitive insight.  When something is weighing on a client's mind and they just cannot seem to loosen the bonds of the psyche, a Tarot reading can often help.  We work in the present to help brighten the future.  

Have a fantastic day!  

Brightest blessings!  

The Drama Queen Cometh

The Nine of Swords is one of those cards that make people cringe a little.  The image of a woman reclining on on a bed with her left hand at her brow and her right hand dramatically flung out screams "Woe is me!"  Nine swords hang horizontally across a window through which a crescent moon can be seen.  It's as if they are cutting her off from her intuition and inner guidance.  She is caught in her ego, feeling helpless, perhaps even victimized by her circumstances. There is a sense of isolation here.

From the Witches Tarot
by Ellen Dugan
http://www.ellendugan.com/

The good news is that whatever drama is unfolding is nearly over.  It has run its course and will soon be replaced by something else.  (Something better, hopefully!)

When the Nine of Swords appears in a reading, it can mean one of several things.  The most blatant interpretation is that you are over-reacting to something and being petulant about it.  The ego has been wounded and you are milking it for all its worth.

Another interpretation is that you are having to deal with someone else who is draining your energy.  A psychic vampire, if you will.  Is someone else's drama encroaching on your life?  Is someone blaming you for their troubles?

It can also be an indication of karma in action.  Are you getting what you deserve, maybe?  Have your actions caused harm to someone else?  Are you now being slighted because of it?

This card is a card of sorrow and regret.  It is also a call to action.  Is it time to pick up the "sword" and defend yourself?  Almost invariably, the answer is yes!  It is not a call for revenge.  Be careful not to let righteous indignation turn sour and inspire negative or hurtful behaviours.  Instead, use that anger energy to assist you to get out of that bed you made and make some positive changes.  Whether that is to take ownership of your actions and make amends or to set healthy boundaries to prevent the circumstance from repeating itself will be determined by other cards in the reading.  Either way, the Nine of Swords is a wake-up call; a reminder that you have choices.

Personally, I love this card.  It invites you to take a good, hard look at yourself and take the opportunity to establish a better practice.

It is easy to blame others.  It's much more difficult to accept responsibility.  The Nine of Swords arms you with the defense you need to end the sorrow and regret.  Far from encouraging violence, the sword is a symbol of defense meant to be used to "cut" out the negativity that is currently keeping you from moving forward toward inner peace.

Brightest blessings!

What Is a Tarot Reading, Anyway?

People often ask me what actually happens during a Tarot Card Reading.

I wish I knew!

When I first started reading Tarot cards, I admit that I was caught up in the whole gypsy fortune teller fantasy.  It was a bit of blow to learn that the movie version of cartomancy is... Well, it's not real.  Even in my late 20's I wanted - perhaps even expected - the cards to imbue me with some mystical sensation and prophecies to spill from my mouth.

This is kind of how I envisioned myself:

Nonsense!

Over time, and with a bit of experience, I came to realize that what happens is actually a very natural process.  I am loathe to use the term psychic; it's fraught with such negative and charlatanistic connotations.  I see myself as in intuitive card reader.

The cards, themselves, are tools.  The images, symbols, colours and numbers assist me by triggering, or giving words to, the intuitive impressions that I feel more than anything.  Depending on the person I am reading for, this "energetic connection" can be very strong.  It can also be very weak and I have my work cut out for me.  But the cards do not possess any esoteric power of their own.

I begin all my readings by explaining this to my clients.  I cannot tell them anything they don't already know.  The messages come from the client; not some spirit guide or spectral entity out "there" and separate from us.  I just help people see things in a new light or a different perspective.  What they do with the information - for that is all that it is! - is entirely up to them.

Awareness, changes things!  I am always careful to let people know that once they have the information, they also have the power to make different - sometimes better - decisions.  The power to improve things lies completely with the client.  And, often, through a reading, clients gain clarity about situations they are dealing with.  They walk away with, if nothing else, a clearer picture and the ability to change it if they want to.

A reading can last a few minutes, or it can go on for an hour or more.  Sometimes there comes a point where the cards are just pretty pictures on the table.  The intuitive (or energetic) connection is so strong that it goes well beyond the cards' images and symbols and waves of information flow through and between me and the client.  There is nothing evil about this; we all possess the inherent ability to connect intuitively.  It's really very natural.  It's just not always recognized or exercised.

Dare I say the dreaded word?  Magic!  This is what magic is to me; the natural connection between people and nature.  We are biological entities that are meant to exist in tune with nature.  It is nothing to be feared and it is not supernatural.  Though it is Super Natural!

Tarot readings are just another way for people to connect.  That's all.  As a Reader, I am a neutral listener and interpreter.  My intention is to provide intuitive feedback on the energies that I perceive.  If I can offer a fresh perspective or inspire a positive course of action, then I have done my job.  The candles, the incense, the crystals, the fancy cloths... they are merely there for ambiance.

Does it work every time?  No.  It doesn't.  Much of the success in a reading lies with the client.  Is she open to hearing what the Reader has to say?  Is she willing to be honest with herself?  Is the Reader focused and open energetically/intuitively?  Are there distractions/interruptions?

What are people paying for when they seek a Tarot Reading?  Time, skill, an investment in learning and in the tools (the cards) on the part of the Reader.  An ethical Tarot Reader makes her intentions clear and sets realistic expectations for her clients.  I used to invite my clients to pay me whatever they felt comfortable with.  Oddly, that often made them uncomfortable.  Ours is not a society that is used to bartering and people do not like to be "put on the spot" when it comes to determining what a service is worth.  Now I charge a set fee:  $40 for a full reading using Tarot cards and $25 for a short reading using either Tarot cards or Oracle cards.

I don't depend on the income from Tarot readings to make a living.  I charge because I want the people who come to me to respect what I'm doing and giving it away tends to make it look cheap in the eyes of potential clients.  I could charge more.  But I don't want to.  I am comfortable with my fees and feel confident that they are not overly prohibitive.

I do distance readings as well as in-person readings.  I'm happy to connect with people through Skype or Facetime.  It works well and enables me to meet and engage with new people.  Technology is fantastic, isn't it?

If you are interested in booking a reading, contact me at prairiewyndstarot@gmail.com.  Or visit my Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/prairiewyndstarot

Namaste!  And Brightest Blessings!

My Cup Runneth Over

The Ace of Cups is one of the most auspicious cards in any Tarot deck.  When the Ace of Cups appears in a reading, it speaks to new beginnings, particularly those with emotional themes, since Cups is the suit of Emotion.

We see a beautiful chalice floating on a calm lake amid lily pads on which water lilies bloom.  Four streams of water flow from the chalice, representing the four directions and the four elements.  The water is being returned to its source, thus affirming the cyclical nature of all things.  In the background, over serene purple mountains, the sun rises to usher in a new day.

From the Witches Tarot by
Ellen Dugan
http://www.ellendugan.com/

This is a distinctly feminine card, brimming with feminine energy.  Traditionally, the chalice symbolizes the Divine Feminine.  It is the womb from which all life flows.  Water is a feminine element and is closely tied to emotional matters. 

The rich colours in the image are energizing and uplifting.  This is a great image to meditate with for emotional healing or creative inspiration.

In a reading, the Ace of Cups indicates the start of something new:  a romance, a birth, a pregnancy, a wedding.  It also speaks to energetic connections, creativity and healing.  Celebrations of all kinds - even a happy business alliance - are embedded in this card's symbolism.

To book a reading with me, please visit my Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/prairiewyndstarot and click on the Book Now button.

I am available for in-person readings, or virtual readings.

Maybe we'll discover a new beginning in your life together!

Samhain Goals

As Samhain approaches, I find myself giving a great deal of thought to my personal goals for the coming Wheel of the Year.  Every year I tend toward things like:  be kinder, be more generous, be more tolerant, gossip less… All worthy goals to be sure.  Yet they never seem to change.  I’m always setting the same personal goals.  Apparently, I am not achieving them!

This year, I have new goals on my mind.  The first is to be more authentic.  Over the past four and a half years I have learned a good deal about myself.  Being on my own, I have had to figure out a lot of stuff that I used to depend on someone else to deal with.  I have also had to swallow my pride a few times and admit that I had reached my limits and ask for help.  Harder still, I had to accept it!  At times I have been elated by my accomplishments; at other times, humbled by my shortcomings.

What I have learned is that it doesn’t negate my independence when I allow someone else to share their experience and skills to make my life better.  Just a small shift in thinking:  from I’m giving up my power to I’m being empowered by this person’s willingness to assist made all the difference.

I have also realized how much I used to defer to what I think other people think of me.   I wish I had a dollar for every time I didn’t do something because I thought that this person or that person would not approve.  “What if ______ hated me for doing this?”  “What would people say?”  I spent so much energy not letting others down, I often forgot not to let myself down. 

When I hide myself from others, I deny myself from others.  It doesn’t make sense.  I mean what is the worst thing that can happen?  Well, in certain circumstances, there is a real risk of losing people that I love and admire.  Taking that risk is one of the most difficult things that I can do. 

No one wants to be judged.  No one wants to be rejected.  Yet if I am accepted on false pretenses, I’m not being accepted at all.  Some imaginary me is.  What purpose does it serve to be liked for pretending to be something I am not?  And who are these people liking?  And do I want to be the person they are liking? 

For almost as long as I can remember, I have been drawn to the Tarot.  As a young girl, I admit it was the romance of it that attracted me.  When I finally got the nerve up to buy a deck of Tarot cards, I was truly smitten.  The imagery and symbolism fascinated me.  I worked hard to master the art of cartomancy and I collected dozens of different decks – some just for the beautiful art, some to use in readings.  Some of the decks I owned were quirky and filled with great humour.  Some were dark and mysterious.  Some were elegant.  Some were grotesque.  Each had its own personality, so to speak; its own voice.  I loved them all.

When someone I love very much started declaring his opposition to what I was doing, I started hiding it.  Eventually, I gave it up altogether.  I gave away all my decks and I stopped doing readings.  At first it felt like a relief.  I convinced myself that his approval was more important than my interest and desire.  It took six years to realize that I was wrong.  It took six years to awaken to the fact that I was trying to be someone else’s ideal of who I should be.  I gave up something that I enjoyed to impress someone who had no interest in understanding me or what I did.  I even tried to convince myself that I had given it all up because I wanted to.  Ha!

There are times when it is prudent to keep certain behaviors and interests in check.  I get that not everyone is into the Tarot and that some people have been conditioned to view it with antipathy.  There is no need to poke the bear.  But if asked, why should I deny it?  Why should I have to hide it? 

No one has ever provided me with good reason to think that my use of the Tarot is harmful.  I am fully aware that it can be used for harm.  That, however, is not my intention.  Nor is it my practice.  And if I thought that I was causing harm with it, I would abstain. 

Which leads me to my next goal for the coming year:  to continue my study and practice of the Tarot as part of my goal to be more authentic.

You may have noticed my use of “more” in reference to my goal of authenticity.  I think that I already do try to be authentic.  I just need to stop hiding some of my authenticity.  Baby steps!

My third goal is to be more creative!  Creativity is probably the most important quality I have.  When I make beautiful things, when I write good stories or poems, when I simply express myself creatively in any way, I am the most content, the happiest and the least stressed I can be.   When I let my creative side languish, I find myself feeling restless, bored and my imagination takes on dark mannerisms and I end up getting all worked up over nothing.  It’s quite silly!

And my fourth and final goal is to make more money!  I have waffled over this one for a while.  The superficiality of it makes me cringe.  Then I remind myself that I am worthy of being and deserve to be more financially stable.  There are things I want to do – one being the desire to eliminate the phrase “I can’t afford it” from my idiolect. 

I think it’s a shame when people act in a manner that is designed to impress or feign importance.  I have been guilty of both these things and it hasn’t helped me one bit.  I remain who I am and others like or dislike me based on false notions and skewed perceptions.   No one knows me.  At least no one knows all of me.  That I cannot change.  I can make it so more people know more me. 

I do fear the cost this may exact.  I suspect that there may be those who turn their backs.  There may be those who think the real me is a fake me.   

But what if those who turn their backs open spaces for those who like me for being me?  Wouldn’t that be awesome?  I think it would.

.  

A Little Madness

So today my eldest daughter posted a blog about being weird.  It is quite moving and well worth reading.

When my kids were growing up, weirdness was a bit of theme.  Hell, it's been a bit of theme all my life.  My kids were bound to get caught up in it.

My biggest problem has always been a conflict between wanting to fit in and be accepted and railing - sometimes vehemently - against convention.  My motto is:  question everything!  Not to judge or put down, rather to understand.  I'm genuinely curious and I want to know why.  Why do people do, think and say the things they do?  Why is the world the way it is?  Why do people accept certain things and reject others?  Why!?  It's gotten me into some trouble over the years and after 53 of them, I still don't know.

I became aware that I didn't see things the way others did in my teens.  While my friends were listening to the Bay City Rollers, I was infatuated by Dr. Hook, Long John Baldry and Neil Young.  There were no pin-up posters of the days' hotties on my bedroom walls.  Instead there were Doodle Art and black light posters.  Kites hung from my ceiling and incense burners were stashed in my drawers because they were forbidden by my father.  I got an eye-twitch listening to my friends fantasize about their future weddings.  My dream was to buy a mural-ed van and drive across Canada in it with my black cat, Ebony, before going to university to study philosophy, literature, religious philosophy and English.  I was going to be a writer.

I was also going to be a Tarot Reader!

Life didn't quite turn out that way.  Due to circumstances beyond my control I ended up in Houston and there the  Universe promptly stuck a pin in my bubble, bursting it wide open.  I felt helpless to staunch the lifeblood of my dreams from spilling out and dissipating like so much smoke into the ether.  It would be decades before the new bubble of resentment, anger and blame I harboured would finally dissolve into awareness of my own complicity.  Where was the freaking pin, then, Universe?

The upside of the choices I made are embodied in three incredible young women; my daughters.  They are the reward the Universe gave me for the sacrifices I made so long ago.  Alison, Tracy and Bizz are the great works of art that I helped author, sculpt and paint...  No.  That's not quite right.  They are the great works of art that I helped provide with ink and clay and pigment so they could create themselves.

Yes!

In my daughter's blog about being weird, she introduces herself to the world as a professional Tarot Reader. I, too, am a Tarot Reader.

At a the tender age of 12(ish) I somehow became aware of the Tarot and was fascinated by it.  Seventy-eight elaborately illustrated cards filled with symbolism and mysticism and wonder!  I desperately wanted to get a deck and, with it, change the world.  It would be another sixteen years before I finally allowed myself to delve into the Tarot and begin to learn its secrets.  I collected decks and books and I read and practiced and studied and then, one day, I offered to do a reading for someone else.  What a pivotal moment for me!  What a huge and scary and heartbreaking moment that was.  Yes, another bubble, another pin.  Another WTF moment.  (But that is another story for another blog.)

Suffice it to say that I persevered.  I kept learning.  I kept trying.  Eventually, I found my stride and found moderate success with it.  The problem was not the Universe this time.  The problem was me.  I was, just like my daughter, ashamed of what I was.  I was afraid of being judged and condemned for it.  I was terrified that, in this little, conventional, red-necked, narrow-minded town, I would be branded a... madwoman!

Well, I'm here to tell you, I intend to let my madness play!

Like the Fool in the Major Arcana, I'm ready to take a leap of faith.

Brand me any way you like, I am a Tarot Reader, and I'm open for business!

If you would like to read my daughter's blog about being weird, you can find it here:  http://etherealearth.ca/blog/2015/11/15/why-it-pays-to-be-weird/

Follow me on Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/prairiewyndstarot.