A True Passion

There was a time when I owned 38 Tarot decks.  For reasons that I do not wish to dwell on or get into here, I gave them all away.  Every last one of them.  Even my favourite one:  The Witches Tarot by Ellen Cannon Reed.  (Which is now out of print!)

Today I own 12 decks - 5 Tarot decks and 7 Oracle decks.  I have a new Witches Tarot by Ellen Dugan that I love.  The Ellen Cannon Reed deck, while not impossible to find, is outrageously priced.  One day, though, I will stumble upon one and add it to my collection.

I try not to regret what happened to all my beautiful decks.  What's done, is done.  They are gone, and like old friends, are fondly remembered.  The bright spot here is that there is more room now for new decks to find me.  My wish list is long and growing!

I love the Tarot.  I love shuffling the cards and laying them out.  It's like Christmas morning every time with all the new gifts of insight they reveal.  I look forward to recording my daily Tarot Journal.  Every chance I get to play with the cards is a blessing.

It's become a bit of an addiction.  And this concerns me.  The notion that I am addicted to my Tarot cards popped into my head a few days ago when I felt myself growing a little impatient for a friend to leave so I could record my daily reading in my journal.  I was ashamed of myself for my impatience.  How could I put the cards before my beautiful friend?  

Needless to say, my reading that night was filled with messages of Temperance and Balance.  No kidding!  

I used the Temperance card to meditate with that night as well.  As I lay there contemplating my behavior and feelings, the word passion came up.  

I am passionate about the Tarot!  It calls to me.  For forty years I have been fascinated with and by Tarot cards.  Not once in all that time has my interest in them waned.  I missed them terribly when they were gone.  It was like a huge hole had opened in my heart.

I think that there is a fine line between addiction and passion.  I've been giving this a lot of thought.  Do I use my cards as a crutch?  Or do I use them with wisdom?  So I decided to try a little experiment.  I put the cards away for a few days and paid close attention to my thoughts and feelings about not using them.  Sure they were close to hand and I could have taken them out any time, but I didn't.  I left them alone and just stayed mindful.

II High Priestess
from the Witches Tarot
by Ellen Dugan

Some interesting thoughts and feelings emerged.  The constant yearning for my cards made me worry a little that I was addicted.  I meditated on this for quite some time and the image of the High Priestess came to me.  Here is a lady I admire; powerful, serious, compassionate, wise and compelling.  A role model for all women (and men!), the High Priestess embodies a neutral position, leaning neither to the light, nor the dark.  She is accepting of the balance and interdependence of the two.  She encourages learning, curiosity and creative expression.  She knows the difference between knowledge and wisdom.

I am not perfect.  Yet I do strive for these qualities within myself.  Not having my cards was like a teacher not being allowed to teach.  A healer not being allowed to heal.  I have found and shared both teaching and healing with the Tarot cards.  They are a gift the Universe has bestowed upon me and one I have no desire to deny.

I'm still not entirely sure that I'm not addicted to my cards.  I do know that I am passionate about them.  The beautiful images and the deep spiritual connection to the Universe that they inspire is something I hold dear.

What inspires you?  What are you passionate about?

Brightest blessings!